Perimenopause – something that isn’t truly talked about enough

Okay. So, perimenopause is a subject that many people are unaware of and yet it is something that affects every woman. It is defined as the transition to menopause at the end of the reproductive years and literally means “around menopause”. This phase can begin as early as 35 and end (without a period for 12 months) as late as 59. The female body begins to make less and less of the hormones estrogen and progesterone, which control menstruation, and this time is considered to be perimenopause.

With perimenopause comes a variety of symptoms of varying levels of severity, and every individual has their own unique experiences with it. In fact, some (lucky) women can breeze through this transition with few symptoms. However, most women don’t escape from more severe symptoms at some point. These can include: period changes (time between cycles, length of periods, type of flow, irregular bleeding between periods, etc.), fibroids, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, sleep issues, mood changes, bone loss, forgetfulness (mind fog), and so on.

As mentioned, at the very root of perimenopause issues are hormone issues. For example, when progesterone levels dip, it is no longer in balance with estrogen, which can lead to estrogen dominance and a host of problems such as a decrease in sex drive, an increase in PMS symptoms, irregular periods, depression and anxiety, mood swings, headaches/migraines, hot flashes, tender breasts, bloating, weight gain, hair loss, growth of facial hair, insomnia, fatigue, concentration issues, etc. High estrogen can eventually lead to the development of fibroids, endometriosis, hypothyroidism and breast cancer, to name a few. Therefore, an important step is to try to get those hormones back into balance. First of all, if you are experiencing symptoms of perimenopause, speak with your healthcare specialist first and foremost. They can take steps to ensure that nothing else in need of attention is taking place and to run any tests corresponding to perimenopause issues (tests to determine hormone levels and other related items, PAP smears, pelvic scans, biopsies, etc.). Also, the condition of adrenal fatigue can create further imbalances so it is worth ruling out as well. Most of these peri symptoms will disappear once a woman officially enters menopause; however, there is no point to needlessly suffer in the meantime.

There are a variety of treatment options available: changes in diet and lifestyle, weight loss, exercise, managing stress, hormone replacement therapy (synthetic and bioidentical), herbs such as Vitex, vitamin and mineral supplements. Even something as simple as getting enough sleep can make a positive difference. Again, it’s best to discuss any plans you intend to implement in your life with your healthcare provider prior to moving forward with them. Vitamins, minerals, herbs – many have the capacity to interfere with both over-the-counter and prescription medications. Vitamin/mineral toxicity is also a potential hazard if too much is consumed.

There are absolutely endless resources available to read and watch once you know what to search for. Education is key. Once an understanding is reached, the issue at hand can be met head-on with confidence and (hopefully) less fear. There are also some great support groups online. There’s no doubt that knowing you aren’t alone is extremely beneficial.

So, if you’re a woman who is suddenly experiencing negative changes in yourself on any level (physical, mental, emotional) and you’re between the age of 35 and 59, perimenopause may be the culprit. Again, at its root, it is caused by hormonal imbalance. It is entirely possible to reestablish balance and, in many cases, lessen or eradicate the unwanted symptoms. Ask questions, be informed, take steps to ensure that your quality of life and wellness remain intact while you journey through perimenopause. You’ve got this!!

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

Positive Self-talk (it really works)

Some of the more popular self-talk phrases have become somewhat cliched; nonetheless, they are still beneficial when it comes to talking to ourselves with positivity and encouragement. Belief in oneself is necessary for success. Unless or until we truly have faith in our abilities and positive traits, we can’t fully reach our goals and celebrate our accomplishments.

Many of us struggle with negative self-talk, a pattern we more than likely developed from a dysfunctional upbringing and/or experiences with narcissistic friends, teachers, colleagues or partners. When negativity and criticism are regularly tossed our way, it can become a challenge not to internalize it and have it become a part of how we see ourselves. But it doesn’t need to be this way.

Just as we fell into the pattern of choosing negative self-talk, we can do the same in the opposite direction. Even if you’ve had the great misfortune of never receiving a compliment from people you care about (generally happens with narcissists who always need to feel that they are the ‘best’ at the expense of everyone around them), you have the power to look at yourself from an encouraging, positive and kind standpoint. From that standpoint, try giving yourself credit for your unique talents, skills, accomplishments, personality traits and so on. Really own it. Flip the negativity on its head and focus on the positive. It’s free, simple and can change your entire outlook on yourself and the world around you. Perspective is a tool that is always at your disposal and you have the power to alter it at any given moment. Looking up at the possibilities rather than down on yourself is empowering and can have dramatic effects.

Making positive self-talk a daily habit is undoubtedly beneficial on a variety of levels. And sharing that positivity with others through compliments, encouragement and kindness will also bring with it even more positive feelings. So, cliched and simplistic as it may sound, believe in yourself, be kind to yourself and others, take care of yourself. Live your best life.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

The Path to Changing Unhealthy Habits and Behaviours

We all have at least one unhealthy habit or simply a behaviour we don’t particularly like. Might as well call it like it is…lol. But if/when we arrive at a point where we’ve had enough of it, what’s next? How do we rid ourselves of a habit or behaviour that we don’t want in our lives?

First of all, once we’re at the point of wanting to change or discontinue a habit, we’ve already recognized it as a habit/unwanted behaviour and that it’s something we want to adjust or eliminate. That right there is the basis of awareness and motivation, ready and waiting to take the next step. To add to that newfound motivation, consider making a list of all the positive reasons for wanting to make a change. Maybe the habit is expensive and you will now have more of the green stuff in your bank account. Perhaps the habit in question involves overindulging in something that could have negative consequences for your health and wellbeing or the health of the people around you. Maybe it’s something that is keeping you from socializing with friends and family.

Whatever your vice may be, if you’re aware of it, then you can change it if you want to. Can you do it alone? That depends on what the habit is. At times, a solo venture will be successful. Sometimes it’s best to enlist the help of a family member or good friend to assist in keeping you on track. Other times, a professional may be the best partner in making the transition away from one habit and moving towards something healthier.

We all have the power within us to change what doesn’t serve us well in our lives. Unhealthy habits are not life sentences unless we allow them to be. Picture what you want your life to look like and aim for that goal. Whether it’s baby steps or giant leaps or a combination of both on the journey, we need to believe in ourselves and our ability to choose our paths and reach our destinations.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

How to avoid feeling lonely during the holiday season in our ‘new normal’

The holiday season has always had the potential to bring a mixed bag of emotions with it, including loneliness. This year, the pandemic has created an entirely new set of circumstances on a global level. Many areas all over the world have been placed under government directives to socialize only with those with whom they reside throughout the holidays. For those who live alone, they are allowed to visit with the member(s) of one other household. Obviously these directives vary depending on where you live but the above seems to be fairly common.

There are plenty of ways to keep loneliness at bay during special occasions and on a more regular basis. Keeping busy (with rest and relaxation mixed in, of course) is the ultimate method because it can help to keep our minds from dwelling on situations that may bring with them feelings of sadness and/or loneliness. Read a book, listen to music, continue with or take up a hobby (writing, photography, art, music, dance, gardening or houseplants, etc.) or online course (lots of good ones out there and some are free or currently on sale), watch some great shows or movies (I’m finding ‘This is Us’ to be a series I enjoy watching, and ‘Burden of Truth’ was great before this, too. ‘Klaus’ is the most recent movie I watched and I found it to be really well-written and executed), tackle jobs around your home that you haven’t had time for. Go for a drive along a scenic route. Or call/text/message/Zoom with friends and family. It may not be the same as in-person gatherings but they are still good ways to connect.

Exercise is another option for spending time during the holidays. Walking, skiing (X-country or downhill) or snowboarding, sledding, snowshoeing, skating, jogging, biking – all great forms of outdoor fitness that easily comply with physical distancing directives and will get you into the fresh air and releasing those endorphins. Just being out in nature can be uplifting and a mood booster. Indoors, there’s yoga, Pilates, walking on a treadmill, stretches or simple workout routines, to name a few.

If you do find that loneliness or even depression begin to creep in and you need assistance to deal with it, always know that there is professional help available. Therapists and counsellors appear to be offering both in-office and virtual sessions. Some may even have subsidized sessions available, depending upon your financial situation. There are also many online resources like Big White Wall, Headspace and other providers who are available 24/7 online and/or by phone. You are never alone. With mental health finally getting the attention it deserves, more and more resources are being developed and made easily accessible to the general public. A quick internet search will find you someone to talk to at any time of the day or night. In an emergency mental health situation, though, don’t hesitate to call 9-1-1.

Cooking and/or baking can be enjoyable activities, especially for special occasions. If you’re an experienced cook or baker, whip up your favourite dishes or try something new. If you’re a novice, take some time to practice with recipes you’re interested in learning to make. In the event that you need some direction, call a friend or family member, or watch a YouTube video for more in-depth explanations and tips.

How about starting a side hustle? With the pandemic-related move to more and more businesses going online, now might be the perfect time to give life to that idea that you’ve been dreaming about. The possibilities are endless. And you just might find that your passion could turn into your new livelihood.

So, going into the upcoming holiday season, we all have the option of making the best of it and taking steps to avoid loneliness as much as possible. We might even rekindle or discover activities that will stay with us long beyond the holidays. 🙂

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

Bucket List

Bucket List = a list of things a person wants to do during their lifetime.

Do you have a bucket list? Until recently, I didn’t have one. Then I decided it was worth doing. Life goes by so quickly and there are definitely plenty of ideas on my list.

Places to go, events to participate in, things to do, people to meet – all major potential items for a bucket list. Short-term and/or long-terms goals work equally as well, or a combination of both.

Maybe, if you don’t already have one, you could consider jotting down some bucket list ideas for yourself and then start carrying them out and checking them off. Not only will it be fulfilling to do the things you’ve always wanted to do but checking off items on a list is also very satisfying!

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

C-PTSD and Muscle Armoring – Always Tense and Braced for Trauma

For anyone who lives with C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), Muscle Armoring (or Body Hypervigilance) can be a very real and challenging issue.  With this situation, the individual is always on high alert for perceived threats in their environment.  This state involves both mental ‘scanning’ and physical armoring in preparation for fight, flight or freeze in response to potential ‘attacks’.  Over time, this high state of preparedness becomes the norm.  The mind and body are ALWAYS in a state of readiness to defend and protect.

This constant hypervigilance can lead to mental anxiety (a topic of future blogs) as well as muscle armoring.  Muscle armoring is the direct result of a constant state of physical tension.  Another way to look at it is as defence mechanisms in consistent overdrive.  Physically, that can look like raised shoulders and neck tension, tight facial muscles, regular jumpiness, constant fidgeting and so on.  Generally, many of the muscles in the body are perpetually tensed up and in a state of readiness in anticipation of an attack.  In C-PTSD, this is typically the result of living in environments with prolonged abuse and trauma.

Muscle armoring or body hypervigilance, which is a completely unconscious defence and survival phenomenon, causes muscles to be continually overworked, which typically results in muscle (and sometimes adrenal) fatigue and pain.  Once that pain becomes a reality, many people begin to become increasingly aware of just how tense their bodies are.

So, you may be wondering what can be done to improve the situation.  First of all, it is highly recommended to find a good therapist who specializes in C-PTSD and can help with understanding and healing from the originating psychological aspect .  With an awareness of the underlying causes, the physical issues can then be better approached with understanding and compassion.  A support system such as what is offered by Natural Clarity Coaching can also be of great assistance throughout the journey of healing.

Obviously, a balanced diet, exercise, sufficient sleep and regular self-care are always great practices.  Beyond that, there are many additional options, such as:  Massage therapy with a professional or via the use of at-home massage tools, yoga (there are many programs to be found for free online which are specifically geared to dealing with trauma), essential oils, warm baths with Epsom salts, heating pads, body braids, TENS units, deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation exercises, guided imagery, mindfulness and meditation.

As with anything of this magnitude, recovery and healing will take time.  Hypervigilance and body armoring doesn’t happen overnight, so it definitely won’t resolve that quickly, either.  Be patient and kind to yourself during the healing process.  You deserve peace and wellbeing in every part of your life.

Until next time,

Heather – Natural Clarity Coaching  http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

 

 

 

International Self-Care Day

Celebrate self-care today and every day. 🙂

Heather – Natural Clarity Coaching naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

Perspective – A Skill (Superpower?) Well Worth Developing

Perspective is a significant part of our day-to-day lives.  As the saying goes, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” (Wayne Dyer).  Negative, positive or neutral, our perspective is our choice.

It’s worth mentioning that we all have struggles, some of which can be incredibly challenging.  No matter how difficult, though, we always have the option to change our perspective in terms of how we choose to view any situation.  Sure, life can throw us really rotten curve balls, but viewing something as a learning experience, for example, can take the edge off of the situation and possibly open the mind to solutions.  The school of hard knocks can literally make us stronger people if we rise to the challenge.  We can also opt for changing our perspective in order to reduce stress levels and keep up our momentum for moving forward.

At the end of the day, perspective is a choice.  And that choice can literally change our lives if we actively engage in awareness of our ongoing perspectives and then opening our minds to other views.  It can be quite an empowering skill (maybe even a superpower!) once we develop it and learn to put it into practice regularly.

Until next time,

Heather  Natural Clarity Coaching  naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com  http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com   Natural Clarity Coaching on FB, Instagram, Twitter

 

 

Narcissists are Time Thieves

When a narcissist is involved directly in your life, especially as a partner, there is no doubt that they will take many things from you.  TIME is one of the major thefts.  Let’s chat about that today.

Your time will undoubtedly be stolen through giving seemingly endless amounts of catering to and focusing on someone who can never seem to get enough attention.  Countless hours will be spent on worrying about whatever negative situations the narcissist brings into your life.  Priority and importance will take leave from your own self-care and personal goals in order to be piled into wondering what you said or did (or didn’t say or didn’t do) that caused the narcissist to lash out at you in anger or give you the silent treatment for hours or days.  (Side note:  It’s never truly about you – these are broken people)

As time goes on, most, if not all, of your energy will shift to the narcissist, to the often total detriment of yourself.  Every day becomes all about them; their wants, needs, dreams and goals.  You may even lose all sense of who YOU are in the process.

Obviously it is a matter of personal choice to either stay with or leave a narcissistic partner.  No matter what, though, it is imperative that we hold on to our own self-care, wants, needs, dreams and goals.  Carving out as much time as possible to take care of ourselves and prioritize our own aims in life can make a huge difference, whether we’re with a narcissist or have chosen to live a narc-free existence.

The bottom line is that time is precious and no one should be allowed to steal all of it from us.

Be well.

Heather – Natural Clarity Coaching

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery with Natural Clarity Coaching

One of the main areas of focus at Natural Clarity Coaching is to work with clients who have recognized that they have been the victim of one or more narcissists and who have chosen to work on their recovery from the abuse and damage.

As our target area is recovery, the narcissists and their behaviour are not a major topic.  However, let’s get the basics out of the way.  What exactly is a narcissist (aka an individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD)?  NPD is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.  These people often are or were victims of someone narcissistic, which often leads them to engaging in the same behaviour towards others.  They are broken people.  As the saying goes, ‘Hurt people, hurt people’.  It’s a vicious cycle in which serious dysfunctions are created and poor choices are often made.  In the end, it comes down to those crucial points of making a choice to either get help and recover or to allow the brokenness to perpetuate the cycle of hurt.  Many literally can’t or won’t see the patterns and the cycles within their relationships, though, so they simply continue with them.  These issues often run through families for generations.

What are some of the potential resulting issues for someone who is abused by a narcissist?  Well, after any period of time with someone who uses words in manipulative ways in order to control, demean, confuse, isolate and emotionally break you for their own benefit, there will almost always be consequences.  In fact, this is so common that there is something called Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome wherein, very basically put, individuals begin to doubt themselves and their own sanity.  There is also a high risk of Complex-PTSD, adrenal fatigue (from constant fight, flight, freeze), anxiety, depression and a variety of other life-changing issues.

The bottom line is that being abused by a narcissist, whether it is a family member, significant other, employer or co-worker, and so on, is an incredibly difficult and challenging situation.  And because it typically creeps in insidiously and becomes ‘the way of things’, together with silent treatments and/or anger for pushing back against the abusive behaviour, we often become lulled into a sense of it being ‘normal’ and that it’s better to just hunker down, keep quiet (or sometimes argue constantly) and live with it.  It’s possible that we grew up in a dysfunctional family with a narcissistic parent, so dysfunction feels familiar with romantic partners or friends.  This is what love looks like, right?  Maybe we’ve been convinced that we deserve this treatment.  So we slide into survival mode just to get through every day.  But even though we may eventually feel numb, those manipulative words, those ongoing silent treatments or verbal attacks, and that constant emotional pain and hurt, have all culminated in any number of the issues which I noted above.  Like an onion, there are layers of damage and trauma involved.

So that’s a very simplified explanation of narcissists, narcissistic abuse, and the damage it can do to others.  There is ample information online and in a variety of books that will tell us anything we want to know about the subject.  In fact, just look around at many of today’s news headlines (think American politics 😉 ) or the constant selfies and egotistical attitudes of some ‘celebrities’ – that’s a lesson in narcissistic behaviour right there.

Information about recovery from narcissistic abuse isn’t yet as widely available.  And, unfortunately, there are many online sites that offer recovery programs at unreal prices.  Natural Clarity Coaching places importance on making recovery support affordable in the short or long term.

Recovery is a journey but it’s well worth the time and effort.  Contact Natural Clarity Coaching at naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com or take a look at our website at http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com.  We offer customized narcissistic abuse recovery programs and a strong support system to stand beside you every step of the way. $25/hour Cdn.

Take that step towards reclaiming yourself and your life.  You’ll be glad that you did.

Heather – Natural Clarity Coaching