Healthy Lifestyle Choices Do Make a Difference

No matter what life may throw at us, one of our best lines of defence is making healthy lifestyle choices. Those include consuming nutritional food and beverages, regular exercise, sufficient sleep, stress management and self-care. Vitamin/mineral supplements can also be beneficial in many cases but it is advisable to discuss anything of this nature with a physician in order to ensure that it is a safe choice in your unique case.

When it comes to making healthy lifestyle choices, they don’t need to be extreme in order to make a difference. Doing things in moderation is typically the way to go. It’s also quite possible to implement choices that are likeable and enjoyable. When we enjoy what we eat and the things that we do for our wellbeing, it makes the whole process of having and maintaining a healthy lifestyle much less complicated.

I’ll be the first person to say that it can be incredibly challenging to keep healthy lifestyle choices at the top of the priority list in cases of, say, dealing regularly with a narcissistically-inclined individual. When feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and lost, self-care may feel like it takes too much effort or that it’s a lost cause. However, now is EXACTLY the time that healthy lifestyle choices, especially self-care, can help us the most.

The bottom line is that choosing good options for ourselves when it comes to food, beverages, exercise, sleep, stress management and consistent self-care is one of the most positive and beneficial actions we can take, regardless of what is going on around us. These choices, no matter how small or simple we need for them to be at times, are the ones that will fuel our brains, mental wellbeing and bodies every day, which will, in turn, help to maintain the favorable momentum along with promoting and supporting long-term health and wellness.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

Positive Self-talk (it really works)

Some of the more popular self-talk phrases have become somewhat cliched; nonetheless, they are still beneficial when it comes to talking to ourselves with positivity and encouragement. Belief in oneself is necessary for success. Unless or until we truly have faith in our abilities and positive traits, we can’t fully reach our goals and celebrate our accomplishments.

Many of us struggle with negative self-talk, a pattern we more than likely developed from a dysfunctional upbringing and/or experiences with narcissistic friends, teachers, colleagues or partners. When negativity and criticism are regularly tossed our way, it can become a challenge not to internalize it and have it become a part of how we see ourselves. But it doesn’t need to be this way.

Just as we fell into the pattern of choosing negative self-talk, we can do the same in the opposite direction. Even if you’ve had the great misfortune of never receiving a compliment from people you care about (generally happens with narcissists who always need to feel that they are the ‘best’ at the expense of everyone around them), you have the power to look at yourself from an encouraging, positive and kind standpoint. From that standpoint, try giving yourself credit for your unique talents, skills, accomplishments, personality traits and so on. Really own it. Flip the negativity on its head and focus on the positive. It’s free, simple and can change your entire outlook on yourself and the world around you. Perspective is a tool that is always at your disposal and you have the power to alter it at any given moment. Looking up at the possibilities rather than down on yourself is empowering and can have dramatic effects.

Making positive self-talk a daily habit is undoubtedly beneficial on a variety of levels. And sharing that positivity with others through compliments, encouragement and kindness will also bring with it even more positive feelings. So, cliched and simplistic as it may sound, believe in yourself, be kind to yourself and others, take care of yourself. Live your best life.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

The Path to Changing Unhealthy Habits and Behaviours

We all have at least one unhealthy habit or simply a behaviour we don’t particularly like. Might as well call it like it is…lol. But if/when we arrive at a point where we’ve had enough of it, what’s next? How do we rid ourselves of a habit or behaviour that we don’t want in our lives?

First of all, once we’re at the point of wanting to change or discontinue a habit, we’ve already recognized it as a habit/unwanted behaviour and that it’s something we want to adjust or eliminate. That right there is the basis of awareness and motivation, ready and waiting to take the next step. To add to that newfound motivation, consider making a list of all the positive reasons for wanting to make a change. Maybe the habit is expensive and you will now have more of the green stuff in your bank account. Perhaps the habit in question involves overindulging in something that could have negative consequences for your health and wellbeing or the health of the people around you. Maybe it’s something that is keeping you from socializing with friends and family.

Whatever your vice may be, if you’re aware of it, then you can change it if you want to. Can you do it alone? That depends on what the habit is. At times, a solo venture will be successful. Sometimes it’s best to enlist the help of a family member or good friend to assist in keeping you on track. Other times, a professional may be the best partner in making the transition away from one habit and moving towards something healthier.

We all have the power within us to change what doesn’t serve us well in our lives. Unhealthy habits are not life sentences unless we allow them to be. Picture what you want your life to look like and aim for that goal. Whether it’s baby steps or giant leaps or a combination of both on the journey, we need to believe in ourselves and our ability to choose our paths and reach our destinations.

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

How to avoid feeling lonely during the holiday season in our ‘new normal’

The holiday season has always had the potential to bring a mixed bag of emotions with it, including loneliness. This year, the pandemic has created an entirely new set of circumstances on a global level. Many areas all over the world have been placed under government directives to socialize only with those with whom they reside throughout the holidays. For those who live alone, they are allowed to visit with the member(s) of one other household. Obviously these directives vary depending on where you live but the above seems to be fairly common.

There are plenty of ways to keep loneliness at bay during special occasions and on a more regular basis. Keeping busy (with rest and relaxation mixed in, of course) is the ultimate method because it can help to keep our minds from dwelling on situations that may bring with them feelings of sadness and/or loneliness. Read a book, listen to music, continue with or take up a hobby (writing, photography, art, music, dance, gardening or houseplants, etc.) or online course (lots of good ones out there and some are free or currently on sale), watch some great shows or movies (I’m finding ‘This is Us’ to be a series I enjoy watching, and ‘Burden of Truth’ was great before this, too. ‘Klaus’ is the most recent movie I watched and I found it to be really well-written and executed), tackle jobs around your home that you haven’t had time for. Go for a drive along a scenic route. Or call/text/message/Zoom with friends and family. It may not be the same as in-person gatherings but they are still good ways to connect.

Exercise is another option for spending time during the holidays. Walking, skiing (X-country or downhill) or snowboarding, sledding, snowshoeing, skating, jogging, biking – all great forms of outdoor fitness that easily comply with physical distancing directives and will get you into the fresh air and releasing those endorphins. Just being out in nature can be uplifting and a mood booster. Indoors, there’s yoga, Pilates, walking on a treadmill, stretches or simple workout routines, to name a few.

If you do find that loneliness or even depression begin to creep in and you need assistance to deal with it, always know that there is professional help available. Therapists and counsellors appear to be offering both in-office and virtual sessions. Some may even have subsidized sessions available, depending upon your financial situation. There are also many online resources like Big White Wall, Headspace and other providers who are available 24/7 online and/or by phone. You are never alone. With mental health finally getting the attention it deserves, more and more resources are being developed and made easily accessible to the general public. A quick internet search will find you someone to talk to at any time of the day or night. In an emergency mental health situation, though, don’t hesitate to call 9-1-1.

Cooking and/or baking can be enjoyable activities, especially for special occasions. If you’re an experienced cook or baker, whip up your favourite dishes or try something new. If you’re a novice, take some time to practice with recipes you’re interested in learning to make. In the event that you need some direction, call a friend or family member, or watch a YouTube video for more in-depth explanations and tips.

How about starting a side hustle? With the pandemic-related move to more and more businesses going online, now might be the perfect time to give life to that idea that you’ve been dreaming about. The possibilities are endless. And you just might find that your passion could turn into your new livelihood.

So, going into the upcoming holiday season, we all have the option of making the best of it and taking steps to avoid loneliness as much as possible. We might even rekindle or discover activities that will stay with us long beyond the holidays. 🙂

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

Strength arises out of Challenges

Strength arises most often from the challenging times in our lives.  It is often born out of our survival instinct or the need to protect ourselves and those around us.  It grows in those moments when we feel as though we can’t take one more step but somehow continue to put one foot in front of the other.

Those difficult times can also be viewed as opportunities for learning, growth and healing.  They can make us stronger and wiser.  Moments of hardship force us to adapt.  They also allow us the opportunity to share our experiences with others and possibly help someone else through a tough time.

Find and grow your strength in the ups and downs of every day.  It’s there for you and continues to grow.  You just need to trust in it and in yourself.  Reaching out to a support system is also very important in some parts of our journeys.  Sometimes that is family, friends, support groups or an organization such as Natural Clarity Coaching, for example.

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~  http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com  naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

 

Self-care and mindfulness are important when working from home

Many of us have been experiencing the intricacies and complexities of working from home due to the global COVID-19 pandemic, some of us for the first time ever.  Although remote work has many benefits, it also comes with its fair share of challenges.

Sometimes those challenges come in the form of cramped office quarters, ergonomic issues, trying to find a quiet space, internet connectivity problems (typically during virtual office meetings!), working longer hours, and so on.

Self-care is always a great tool when stress and tension abound in our lives.  In terms of working remotely, taking regular breaks to stretch or go for a short walk can be beneficial.  Daily work routines that include some downtime, no matter how brief, can make for improved mood and less anxiety.  Ensuring that the ergonomics of your workspace are to your liking can make a huge difference to your physical wellbeing.  Sometimes it’s difficult to carve out a quiet place so it may be necessary to create some household rules about volume levels during working hours.  It’s also quite easy to end up working extra time while stationed at home.  Keep an eye on the clock in terms of your scheduled time and try not to make burning the midnight oil a habit.  Insufficient sleep can lead to mood and productivity issues so it’s best to avoid that at all costs.  If getting to sleep becomes an issue, consider trying deep breathing techniques (see my previous blog post), aromatherapy or listening to bilateral music or wave sounds, to name a few great options.

Overall, reframing your work life to include a remote situation requires a change in perspective.  When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.  Do what works for you.  Being mindful of how you feel about certain work-from-home situations can also open your thoughts to potential adjustments that would be welcome improvements.

Regardless of your situation, self-care is important on so many levels.  Make sure to include time to take care of yourself every day.

Until next time,

Heather  ~Natural Clarity Coaching~  www. naturalclaritycoaching.com  naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

Breathing Technique for Anxiety and Sleep – 4-7-8 “Relaxed Breath”

Here is a great way to reduce stress.  It can also help with falling asleep.

It’s called the 4-7-8 Breathing Technique (“Relaxed Breath”).  This is how it works:

Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold breath for 7 seconds, exhale forcefully through pursed lips for 8 seconds.  This cycle can be repeated up to four times in a row, two or more times daily.

You can also pair this exercise with guided imagery or meditation for an even more therapeutic experience.

Just breathe, my friends.

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com  naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on FB, Instagram and Twitter

 

What other people think of you is none of your business – words to live by

Not giving any energy or time to what other people think of you; this is one of the greatest tools for finding peace and happiness.

In all honesty, at the end of the day, what matters is our own self-perception and learning to accept ourselves in every way.  Fulfillment doesn’t come from trying to make everyone else happy by changing who we are, or our physical appearance or our belief systems.  Even if we wanted to try, we would never succeed.  It would be a losing and exhausting battle.  Putting our time and energy into attempting to fit in or impress others or change our opinions to make someone else happy, is simply cheating us of our authenticity and taking precious moments away from enjoying our own lives.  Add onto that all of the stress and anxiety and potential depression that worrying about pleasing others creates, and you can see exactly why it’s best to appreciate and nourish who you are and not worry about what anyone else thinks of you.

Be YOU inside and out.  Set yourself free.  It’s your life so do it your way.  What other people think of you is none of your business.

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~  http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com  naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on FB, Instagram and Twitter

 

Low Contact and No Contact for Protection Against Narcissists

Low contact and no contact are two highly-recommended tools to protect oneself from narcissists and their dysfunctional, abusive behaviour.

Low contact means simply having very little contact with narcissistic people such as parents, siblings, friends.  If you choose to have someone narcissistic in your life for whatever reason, it can look like infrequent phone calls or visits, mailing letters or sending emails.  In a work setting where it is impossible not to interact with a narcissistic employer or co-worker, it may look more like brief professional conversations (no emotion or personal content) and only when absolutely necessary.  It definitely involves creating boundaries in which you feel safe, and then strongly enforcing them.  Whatever works for you, do it.  It’s an individual preference.  No contact entails zero association with narcissists; no verbal, in-person or written interactions, no checking their social media.  It means having absolutely nothing to do with them.  This can be challenging at first but becomes much easier as each day passes.  It is also worth noting that most narcissistic-type individuals will push back against boundaries and changes in their level of control.  Stay strong and keep the faith that you are doing what is in your best interests.  As a side note, dealing with a narcissistic significant other can look very different than the relationships listed above; however, there are still ways to protect yourself and make good choices for your future.  I will write about this in future posts.

Both of these methods work very well for many people in protecting their peace and sanity from narcissists.  It allows clarity and a new sense of perspective to develop, free from anyone who seeks to control, condescend, intimidate or manipulate.

So, if you are in search of tools to protect your calm and wellbeing, low contact and/or no contact can literally be a lifesaver.  If you feel that you could use a support system during this process, please contact Natural Clarity Coaching at the email listed below for further information.  That’s what we’re here for.

Until next time!

Heather – ~Natural Clarity Coaching~  http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on FB, Instagram and Twitter

 

C-PTSD and Muscle Armoring – Always Tense and Braced for Trauma

For anyone who lives with C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), Muscle Armoring (or Body Hypervigilance) can be a very real and challenging issue.  With this situation, the individual is always on high alert for perceived threats in their environment.  This state involves both mental ‘scanning’ and physical armoring in preparation for fight, flight or freeze in response to potential ‘attacks’.  Over time, this high state of preparedness becomes the norm.  The mind and body are ALWAYS in a state of readiness to defend and protect.

This constant hypervigilance can lead to mental anxiety (a topic of future blogs) as well as muscle armoring.  Muscle armoring is the direct result of a constant state of physical tension.  Another way to look at it is as defence mechanisms in consistent overdrive.  Physically, that can look like raised shoulders and neck tension, tight facial muscles, regular jumpiness, constant fidgeting and so on.  Generally, many of the muscles in the body are perpetually tensed up and in a state of readiness in anticipation of an attack.  In C-PTSD, this is typically the result of living in environments with prolonged abuse and trauma.

Muscle armoring or body hypervigilance, which is a completely unconscious defence and survival phenomenon, causes muscles to be continually overworked, which typically results in muscle (and sometimes adrenal) fatigue and pain.  Once that pain becomes a reality, many people begin to become increasingly aware of just how tense their bodies are.

So, you may be wondering what can be done to improve the situation.  First of all, it is highly recommended to find a good therapist who specializes in C-PTSD and can help with understanding and healing from the originating psychological aspect .  With an awareness of the underlying causes, the physical issues can then be better approached with understanding and compassion.  A support system such as what is offered by Natural Clarity Coaching can also be of great assistance throughout the journey of healing.

Obviously, a balanced diet, exercise, sufficient sleep and regular self-care are always great practices.  Beyond that, there are many additional options, such as:  Massage therapy with a professional or via the use of at-home massage tools, yoga (there are many programs to be found for free online which are specifically geared to dealing with trauma), essential oils, warm baths with Epsom salts, heating pads, body braids, TENS units, deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation exercises, guided imagery, mindfulness and meditation.

As with anything of this magnitude, recovery and healing will take time.  Hypervigilance and body armoring doesn’t happen overnight, so it definitely won’t resolve that quickly, either.  Be patient and kind to yourself during the healing process.  You deserve peace and wellbeing in every part of your life.

Until next time,

Heather – Natural Clarity Coaching  http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter