Bucket List

Bucket List = a list of things a person wants to do during their lifetime.

Do you have a bucket list? Until recently, I didn’t have one. Then I decided it was worth doing. Life goes by so quickly and there are definitely plenty of ideas on my list.

Places to go, events to participate in, things to do, people to meet – all major potential items for a bucket list. Short-term and/or long-terms goals work equally as well, or a combination of both.

Maybe, if you don’t already have one, you could consider jotting down some bucket list ideas for yourself and then start carrying them out and checking them off. Not only will it be fulfilling to do the things you’ve always wanted to do but checking off items on a list is also very satisfying!

Until next time,

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

Support system rooted in experience, knowledge and compassion

As a survivor of many things, including narcissistic abuse, C-PTSD and anxiety, to name just a few, I have chosen to dedicate my journey to supporting others who are going through similar experiences.  My belief is that someone who has “been there and done that” through times of adversity, gains wisdom and tools to help themselves, together with the opportunity to share that knowledge in an effort to help others who could use a support system.

When you work with me, my purpose is solely to support you in your healing and recovery journey.  Beyond my personal experiences, I have studied various areas of life coaching, psychology (with a focus on narcissism and narcissistic abuse recovery), health and wellness, women’s health, music therapy, Reiki and other relevant topics.

Narcissistic abuse recovery support is my primary focus.  I am not a mental health professional and, as such, do not offer those services; however, my support work with clients can be viewed as a complementary facet, in conjunction with treatment by mental health professionals, of their recovery or a stand-alone system where no mental health issues are to be treated.

If you are working your way through challenging times and could use the support of someone who knows on a personal level what you are experiencing and can help to ease the stress and complexity of everything in your healing journey, consider touching base for further information.  My standard rate is $25/hr (Cdn).  Lower rates available on a case-by-case basis.

Until next time,

Heather   ~Natural Clarity Coaching~    naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com  http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter

 

Strength arises out of Challenges

Strength arises most often from the challenging times in our lives.  It is often born out of our survival instinct or the need to protect ourselves and those around us.  It grows in those moments when we feel as though we can’t take one more step but somehow continue to put one foot in front of the other.

Those difficult times can also be viewed as opportunities for learning, growth and healing.  They can make us stronger and wiser.  Moments of hardship force us to adapt.  They also allow us the opportunity to share our experiences with others and possibly help someone else through a tough time.

Find and grow your strength in the ups and downs of every day.  It’s there for you and continues to grow.  You just need to trust in it and in yourself.  Reaching out to a support system is also very important in some parts of our journeys.  Sometimes that is family, friends, support groups or an organization such as Natural Clarity Coaching, for example.

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~  http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com  naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

 

Breathing Technique for Anxiety and Sleep – 4-7-8 “Relaxed Breath”

Here is a great way to reduce stress.  It can also help with falling asleep.

It’s called the 4-7-8 Breathing Technique (“Relaxed Breath”).  This is how it works:

Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold breath for 7 seconds, exhale forcefully through pursed lips for 8 seconds.  This cycle can be repeated up to four times in a row, two or more times daily.

You can also pair this exercise with guided imagery or meditation for an even more therapeutic experience.

Just breathe, my friends.

Heather ~Natural Clarity Coaching~ http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com  naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on FB, Instagram and Twitter

 

C-PTSD and Muscle Armoring – Always Tense and Braced for Trauma

For anyone who lives with C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), Muscle Armoring (or Body Hypervigilance) can be a very real and challenging issue.  With this situation, the individual is always on high alert for perceived threats in their environment.  This state involves both mental ‘scanning’ and physical armoring in preparation for fight, flight or freeze in response to potential ‘attacks’.  Over time, this high state of preparedness becomes the norm.  The mind and body are ALWAYS in a state of readiness to defend and protect.

This constant hypervigilance can lead to mental anxiety (a topic of future blogs) as well as muscle armoring.  Muscle armoring is the direct result of a constant state of physical tension.  Another way to look at it is as defence mechanisms in consistent overdrive.  Physically, that can look like raised shoulders and neck tension, tight facial muscles, regular jumpiness, constant fidgeting and so on.  Generally, many of the muscles in the body are perpetually tensed up and in a state of readiness in anticipation of an attack.  In C-PTSD, this is typically the result of living in environments with prolonged abuse and trauma.

Muscle armoring or body hypervigilance, which is a completely unconscious defence and survival phenomenon, causes muscles to be continually overworked, which typically results in muscle (and sometimes adrenal) fatigue and pain.  Once that pain becomes a reality, many people begin to become increasingly aware of just how tense their bodies are.

So, you may be wondering what can be done to improve the situation.  First of all, it is highly recommended to find a good therapist who specializes in C-PTSD and can help with understanding and healing from the originating psychological aspect .  With an awareness of the underlying causes, the physical issues can then be better approached with understanding and compassion.  A support system such as what is offered by Natural Clarity Coaching can also be of great assistance throughout the journey of healing.

Obviously, a balanced diet, exercise, sufficient sleep and regular self-care are always great practices.  Beyond that, there are many additional options, such as:  Massage therapy with a professional or via the use of at-home massage tools, yoga (there are many programs to be found for free online which are specifically geared to dealing with trauma), essential oils, warm baths with Epsom salts, heating pads, body braids, TENS units, deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation exercises, guided imagery, mindfulness and meditation.

As with anything of this magnitude, recovery and healing will take time.  Hypervigilance and body armoring doesn’t happen overnight, so it definitely won’t resolve that quickly, either.  Be patient and kind to yourself during the healing process.  You deserve peace and wellbeing in every part of your life.

Until next time,

Heather – Natural Clarity Coaching  http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com  Natural Clarity Coaching on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

 

 

 

Perspective – A Skill (Superpower?) Well Worth Developing

Perspective is a significant part of our day-to-day lives.  As the saying goes, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” (Wayne Dyer).  Negative, positive or neutral, our perspective is our choice.

It’s worth mentioning that we all have struggles, some of which can be incredibly challenging.  No matter how difficult, though, we always have the option to change our perspective in terms of how we choose to view any situation.  Sure, life can throw us really rotten curve balls, but viewing something as a learning experience, for example, can take the edge off of the situation and possibly open the mind to solutions.  The school of hard knocks can literally make us stronger people if we rise to the challenge.  We can also opt for changing our perspective in order to reduce stress levels and keep up our momentum for moving forward.

At the end of the day, perspective is a choice.  And that choice can literally change our lives if we actively engage in awareness of our ongoing perspectives and then opening our minds to other views.  It can be quite an empowering skill (maybe even a superpower!) once we develop it and learn to put it into practice regularly.

Until next time,

Heather  Natural Clarity Coaching  naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com  http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com   Natural Clarity Coaching on FB, Instagram, Twitter

 

 

Narcissists are Time Thieves

When a narcissist is involved directly in your life, especially as a partner, there is no doubt that they will take many things from you.  TIME is one of the major thefts.  Let’s chat about that today.

Your time will undoubtedly be stolen through giving seemingly endless amounts of catering to and focusing on someone who can never seem to get enough attention.  Countless hours will be spent on worrying about whatever negative situations the narcissist brings into your life.  Priority and importance will take leave from your own self-care and personal goals in order to be piled into wondering what you said or did (or didn’t say or didn’t do) that caused the narcissist to lash out at you in anger or give you the silent treatment for hours or days.  (Side note:  It’s never truly about you – these are broken people)

As time goes on, most, if not all, of your energy will shift to the narcissist, to the often total detriment of yourself.  Every day becomes all about them; their wants, needs, dreams and goals.  You may even lose all sense of who YOU are in the process.

Obviously it is a matter of personal choice to either stay with or leave a narcissistic partner.  No matter what, though, it is imperative that we hold on to our own self-care, wants, needs, dreams and goals.  Carving out as much time as possible to take care of ourselves and prioritize our own aims in life can make a huge difference, whether we’re with a narcissist or have chosen to live a narc-free existence.

The bottom line is that time is precious and no one should be allowed to steal all of it from us.

Be well.

Heather – Natural Clarity Coaching

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery with Natural Clarity Coaching

One of the main areas of focus at Natural Clarity Coaching is to work with clients who have recognized that they have been the victim of one or more narcissists and who have chosen to work on their recovery from the abuse and damage.

As our target area is recovery, the narcissists and their behaviour are not a major topic.  However, let’s get the basics out of the way.  What exactly is a narcissist (aka an individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD)?  NPD is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.  These people often are or were victims of someone narcissistic, which often leads them to engaging in the same behaviour towards others.  They are broken people.  As the saying goes, ‘Hurt people, hurt people’.  It’s a vicious cycle in which serious dysfunctions are created and poor choices are often made.  In the end, it comes down to those crucial points of making a choice to either get help and recover or to allow the brokenness to perpetuate the cycle of hurt.  Many literally can’t or won’t see the patterns and the cycles within their relationships, though, so they simply continue with them.  These issues often run through families for generations.

What are some of the potential resulting issues for someone who is abused by a narcissist?  Well, after any period of time with someone who uses words in manipulative ways in order to control, demean, confuse, isolate and emotionally break you for their own benefit, there will almost always be consequences.  In fact, this is so common that there is something called Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome wherein, very basically put, individuals begin to doubt themselves and their own sanity.  There is also a high risk of Complex-PTSD, adrenal fatigue (from constant fight, flight, freeze), anxiety, depression and a variety of other life-changing issues.

The bottom line is that being abused by a narcissist, whether it is a family member, significant other, employer or co-worker, and so on, is an incredibly difficult and challenging situation.  And because it typically creeps in insidiously and becomes ‘the way of things’, together with silent treatments and/or anger for pushing back against the abusive behaviour, we often become lulled into a sense of it being ‘normal’ and that it’s better to just hunker down, keep quiet (or sometimes argue constantly) and live with it.  It’s possible that we grew up in a dysfunctional family with a narcissistic parent, so dysfunction feels familiar with romantic partners or friends.  This is what love looks like, right?  Maybe we’ve been convinced that we deserve this treatment.  So we slide into survival mode just to get through every day.  But even though we may eventually feel numb, those manipulative words, those ongoing silent treatments or verbal attacks, and that constant emotional pain and hurt, have all culminated in any number of the issues which I noted above.  Like an onion, there are layers of damage and trauma involved.

So that’s a very simplified explanation of narcissists, narcissistic abuse, and the damage it can do to others.  There is ample information online and in a variety of books that will tell us anything we want to know about the subject.  In fact, just look around at many of today’s news headlines (think American politics 😉 ) or the constant selfies and egotistical attitudes of some ‘celebrities’ – that’s a lesson in narcissistic behaviour right there.

Information about recovery from narcissistic abuse isn’t yet as widely available.  And, unfortunately, there are many online sites that offer recovery programs at unreal prices.  Natural Clarity Coaching places importance on making recovery support affordable in the short or long term.

Recovery is a journey but it’s well worth the time and effort.  Contact Natural Clarity Coaching at naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com or take a look at our website at http://www.naturalclaritycoaching.com.  We offer customized narcissistic abuse recovery programs and a strong support system to stand beside you every step of the way. $25/hour Cdn.

Take that step towards reclaiming yourself and your life.  You’ll be glad that you did.

Heather – Natural Clarity Coaching

 

What’s Natural Clarity Coaching all about?

So, what’s Natural Clarity Coaching all about?

It’s all about life and wellness coaching with special focuses on narcissistic abuse recovery, living and thriving with C-PTSD, emotional intelligence, challenging our belief systems, basics of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and more.   With customized coaching programs built on confidential, trusted and solid support systems, progress, healing, recovery and growth are much more attainable.

Natural Clarity Coaching – a name that means just what it says.  We all have a natural clarity within us, meaning the ability to clearly see what we want and need in order to live our best lives.  Often, we find ourselves caught in a fog of negativity and stress, out-of-control emotions, other people’s judgments and opinions – a veritable whirlwind of confusion, fear, and either immobilization or frantically running here and there with no destination – and this leaves us possibly struggling with feeling lost, scattered and lacking focus.  Our natural clarity becomes buried and faded within all of the upheaval and this can become an ongoing state of being.  We operate on auto-pilot.  It becomes all about surviving and simply getting through each day.

When we find positive and long-term tools to see through the fog of stress and negativity, deal with our emotions on a rational and intelligent level and let other people’s beliefs roll off, we can truly begin to care for and nurture ourselves.  This is where the ‘natural clarity’ comes in.  When the layers of fog are pushed away, it leaves us with a clear mind and the opportunity to focus on growing, thriving in our lives and finding fulfillment.  We can focus on enjoying every day and attaining our goals.   Like fog lights on a vehicle, we can learn to push through the fog until we find our way to clearer roads ahead.

Until next time. 🙂

Heather – Natural Clarity Coaching (naturalclaritycoaching@gmail.com)

(www.naturalclaritycoaching.com)

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